I just put the first half of my advance in the bank a few days ago, and it seemed like a pretty huge step in this whole book writing deal. All of a sudden everything felt real. really real. So real that when the check arrived in the mail it took me a week to walk into the bank. I think that along with accepting this advance I’m also accepting the fact that I am responsible for writing a book. (I’m not quite sure why signing the contract didn’t induce the feeling of realness… possibly because at that point it still seemed outrageous) But here I am, at the end of another month, with eight months of pie touring to brag about, and I’ve finally come embrace the necessity of writing a little bit each day. Because, duh, at the end of it all I have something to say about pie and a contracted manuscript with which to say it.
At first that thought was terrifying. It’s not only a huge responsibility but a daunting task as well. I feel so incredibly lucky to have been given the opportunity, and I wouldn’t have turned it down for the world, but that doesn’t mean it’s not occasionally pee-your-pants scary. Here’s the deal though. I’m a good writer and if there’s one thing I really like to talk on and on about, it’s pie. Because I’m also a good pie baker. Perfect, right? Perfect, and a tiny (sometimes not so tiny) bit scary. For a month after I got the contract I couldn’t write a single word… even the blog seemed daunting. I got as far as writing down recipes, listing possible sidebars, and taking a few notes here and there about the places I’d been and the people I’d met but very little writing was actually accomplished. I had every excuse in the book. Too busy playing with flour, too much butter in my life (that’s not possible, by the way), too much traveling, A BROKEN COMPUTER. It turns out, actually accepting the fact that this is really real by putting that advance in the bank was just the kick in the pants that I needed. I’m setting aside time, every single day, to write. Even if it’s just for an hour. Even if all I manage to do is list all the different ways to peel an apple (as far as I know there’s only one… with a peeler.) Even if all I do is stare at a computer screen and the occasionally infuriating blinking cursor and write nothing, at least I’ve given myself the time to try. And it’s working! I’m writing and it’s really satisfying. I’m not nearly as anxious as I normally am when someone mentions the book and I am starting to get more and more comfortable with the idea that I will have a totally terrific manuscript to deliver next March. HOW GREAT. Slowly but surely I’m becoming a normal human being who is able to accept this incredible thing life has just handed me. thanks for your patience!